The mother of two of Joe's kids is having relationship problems with her current live-in boyfriend and father of her 4th child. In the past her pattern has been to run to Joe everytime she breaks up with someone. She has used and/or tried to use Joe as a fill in until she is able to find someone she considers "better." She is incapable of supporting her lifestyle on her own or of being happy by herself. The day that she found out what the current boyfriend had done that she (at the time) considered a break upable offense, she asked me to keep her kids and went out to a bar. They have since reconciled, but I don't have a lot of hope for them to actually survive. When she is in a relationship she doesn't wear makeup, do her hair, or make any sort of effort at all. But she does all of those things when she is on the prowl.
So knowing all that, and having her confide in me the details of what happened with the current boyfriend, I am on my guard. I have noticed that she has started wearing makeup, earrings, and even doing her hair (gasp). Today she showed up wearing something that I'm pretty sure Joe bought when they were together. Is this a passive-agressive move on her part? A subtle reminder that she had him first, and maybe could again? Or is a sweatshirt just a sweatshirt...?
I've told Joe that while this is going on I would prefer that he not be in any situation where he is alone with her, even just to exchange the kids. I don't trust her not to try something. I am not worried about Joe - our relationship is strong, but I just think it's smarter not to give her any opportunities to even imply that something happened or could have happened. I feel the same way about the mother in Florida. If Joe goes to see that child, I go with him. It's just smart practice. Joe agrees.
My hackles are raised, I'm ready to fight for what's mine. The question is, do you think that I'm overreacting, or would you feel the same in a similar situation?
9.15.2011
6.14.2011
Just a little basic, basic history if you're just now joining us...
I am married to my best friend, Joe. We met online in July of 2010, met in person at the airport two weeks later when he came home from his job working in the Gulf of Mexico, and we were married six months to the day after we met in person in January of 2011. We like to joke that we had at least 50 dates before we actually met because of the sheer amount of information that we were exchanging through emails, phone calls, texts, and instant messaging on Facebook. And it's pretty true. We had worked through all the normal/major relationship issues before we ever met face to face. It was a short courtship, but wonderful. I could not have designed someone better suited for me, and I know exactly how lucky I am to have him. For his part, he thinks I'm pretty great (his actual words when we discussed getting married were "you're perfect so there's no worries there") and loves me for who I am. That's absolutely priceless to me. Together we have six awesome kiddos, 3 are mine and 3 are his, but they are all ours.
Joe has a unique job that takes him out of the country (currently to the North Sea off the coast of Norway) every other month. He loves what he does and is compensated pretty well for his time away, but it changes the dynamic of our home and our family everytime he leaves. This is in part because his three kiddos don't live with us full time. Two of them live in the same town but we only get to see them when he's home. The other one lives in Florida and I have yet to meet him. Regardless, we both love all the kids like they belong to both of us. Joe is a fantastic father...that's really all I have to say about that :)
Several years ago I was married to someone else and was a stay at home mom. When that ended I elected to go back to school and finish my bachelors degree instead of trying to support my little family on a paycheck from someplace like Walmart. I met Joe after completing my first 4 quarters back at school and had only one year left. On June 11, 2011 I graduated with highest honors and have officially retired my school career in order to return to being a stay at home mom. I am very grateful that Joe feels as strongly as I do that the mother's place is in the home...especially while the kids are small. I am looking forward to playing hard with the kids this summer. They are very excited that I'm done with school too.
And that's kind of it for now...I've got a lot more time on my hands than I have had for the last couple of years, so this might actually get updated every so often lol
I am married to my best friend, Joe. We met online in July of 2010, met in person at the airport two weeks later when he came home from his job working in the Gulf of Mexico, and we were married six months to the day after we met in person in January of 2011. We like to joke that we had at least 50 dates before we actually met because of the sheer amount of information that we were exchanging through emails, phone calls, texts, and instant messaging on Facebook. And it's pretty true. We had worked through all the normal/major relationship issues before we ever met face to face. It was a short courtship, but wonderful. I could not have designed someone better suited for me, and I know exactly how lucky I am to have him. For his part, he thinks I'm pretty great (his actual words when we discussed getting married were "you're perfect so there's no worries there") and loves me for who I am. That's absolutely priceless to me. Together we have six awesome kiddos, 3 are mine and 3 are his, but they are all ours.
Joe has a unique job that takes him out of the country (currently to the North Sea off the coast of Norway) every other month. He loves what he does and is compensated pretty well for his time away, but it changes the dynamic of our home and our family everytime he leaves. This is in part because his three kiddos don't live with us full time. Two of them live in the same town but we only get to see them when he's home. The other one lives in Florida and I have yet to meet him. Regardless, we both love all the kids like they belong to both of us. Joe is a fantastic father...that's really all I have to say about that :)
Several years ago I was married to someone else and was a stay at home mom. When that ended I elected to go back to school and finish my bachelors degree instead of trying to support my little family on a paycheck from someplace like Walmart. I met Joe after completing my first 4 quarters back at school and had only one year left. On June 11, 2011 I graduated with highest honors and have officially retired my school career in order to return to being a stay at home mom. I am very grateful that Joe feels as strongly as I do that the mother's place is in the home...especially while the kids are small. I am looking forward to playing hard with the kids this summer. They are very excited that I'm done with school too.
And that's kind of it for now...I've got a lot more time on my hands than I have had for the last couple of years, so this might actually get updated every so often lol
Wha...? But I Thought You Had a Blog...
I've had a lot of changes in my life over the last couple of years. I got divorced, went back to school, got remarried, lost a bunch of weight, earned my bachelors degree in Communication, and now I'm a stay at home mom again. I needed to change my blog to reflect these changes in my life. So while the look is the same, the address is different. While the content is still about me and my family, it's a different family and there's a lot more of it to enjoy. The old blog was for the old me. The new blog is for the older me that was beaten down but has come back to flourish. Enjoy :)
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