What do you think?

The mother of two of Joe's kids is having relationship problems with her current live-in boyfriend and father of her 4th child. In the past her pattern has been to run to Joe everytime she breaks up with someone. She has used and/or tried to use Joe as a fill in until she is able to find someone she considers "better." She is incapable of supporting her lifestyle on her own or of being happy by herself. The day that she found out what the current boyfriend had done that she (at the time) considered a break upable offense, she asked me to keep her kids and went out to a bar. They have since reconciled, but I don't have a lot of hope for them to actually survive. When she is in a relationship she doesn't wear makeup, do her hair, or make any sort of effort at all. But she does all of those things when she is on the prowl.

So knowing all that, and having her confide in me the details of what happened with the current boyfriend, I am on my guard. I have noticed that she has started wearing makeup, earrings, and even doing her hair (gasp). Today she showed up wearing something that I'm pretty sure Joe bought when they were together. Is this a passive-agressive move on her part? A subtle reminder that she had him first, and maybe could again? Or is a sweatshirt just a sweatshirt...?

I've told Joe that while this is going on I would prefer that he not be in any situation where he is alone with her, even just to exchange the kids. I don't trust her not to try something. I am not worried about Joe - our relationship is strong, but I just think it's smarter not to give her any opportunities to even imply that something happened or could have happened. I feel the same way about the mother in Florida. If Joe goes to see that child, I go with him. It's just smart practice. Joe agrees.

My hackles are raised, I'm ready to fight for what's mine. The question is, do you think that I'm overreacting, or would you feel the same in a similar situation?